Put Human Flourishing Back at the Center of Youth Development
Why kids on screens are worse than adults on screens, where "tech" has no place, and a call for leaders to meet the moment.
Hello Bar-setters!
This Substack is dedicated to empowering parents, educators, and communities to raise a generation equipped to thrive in an ever-changing world. At its core, however, it’s driven by a deeper purpose: exploring the principles of human flourishing—because youth development is inseparable from the greater pursuit of living well.
As I wrote in my book :
The central fixation of every society has been the raising and developing of the next generation. This is where the community comes together to establish values, to reaffirm what it stands for, and to convey what they think is most essential. When that shared purpose dissipates, you have a failing culture.
Meeting the Moment
Technology is the defining force of our time, shaping every aspect of our lives. While its impact is inescapable, many technologies should be embraced with enthusiasm. Yet, we must be more intentional about how we incorporate these tools to ensure they enhance our humanity rather than diminish it.
The rising rates of obesity, mental health disorders, social disconnection, and feelings of meaninglessness reflect our collective failure to harness technology in ways that truly serve us. Some innovations, like the Paired app—which has been fantastic for deepening my relationship with my wife—show how technology can enhance our capacity to flourish. But without intentionality, new technologies are likely to lead to widespread human degradation.
It’s critical for parents, educators, and community leaders to discern which technologies elevate us and which ones erode our well-being. We must equip the next generation with the tools to use technology thoughtfully—without being consumed by it.
On this topic, Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s Substack, After Babel, recently featured an outstanding piece by Andy Crouch that’s worth exploring.
In hopes that you’ll be motivated to read the post, in full, I’ll list a few of the best excerpts:
But there are some places, and some times, where we should absolutely resist the magic of technology, and where, if it has managed to insinuate itself, we should move as quickly as possible to limit it. Because there is one thing magic is absolutely terrible for, and that is the formation of healthy, thriving human beings—or to use a better and deeper word, the formation of persons at their best.
The reason magic is so bad at, and so bad for, the formation of persons is simple. Persons are not formed instantly, and persons are not formed effortlessly. And persons do have to be formed. We arrive in the world less prepared for survival than any other creature, far more in need of shaping and development. All the more so if we go beyond the mere requirements of survival and aim for something like flourishing. Flourishing, for human beings, absolutely requires formation.
What does it take to become a reasonably mature, reasonably wise, reasonably loving person? Inescapably, a great deal of time.
If forming a person is inherently a time-bound process, it is also, obviously, anything but effortless. If you were to narrate the experiences that have most shaped you—especially you at your best—I am almost certain you would describe some combination of losses, accomplishments, joys, disappointments, and, perhaps, experiences of mercy or grace. What I am quite sure you would not include are times when everything was easy.
This means that we can extend our working definition of magic. Magic is (the quest for) instant, effortless, impersonal power. Because anything that is instant and effortless has little or nothing to do with persons. Magic has always been about circumventing the clumsy, awkward work of getting things done with persons.
In her 2011 book Alone Together, Sherry Turkle writes of the seven-minute mark at which conversations take a turn—the point when the usual opening gambits, pleasantries about weather or sports, have run out, there is a palpable pause, and someone has to take a risk. It takes seven minutes for a conversation, a real one, to even begin.
It is at the seven-minute pause, Turkle observed in her lab, that many people take out their phones, implicitly signaling to each other that the conversation need not go any further or deeper, an exit ramp before the unpredictable and vulnerable words beyond the silence. That, of course, was more than a decade ago. What are the chances that conversations last even that long these days? When you have magic in your pocket, why wait to see what will happen with a person?
If magic has colonized the formative stages, short-cutting and indeed short-circuiting the slow and patient process of becoming who we at our best want to be, it also has threatened the formative contexts where the great majority of persons are shaped, not just in the tender years of life but to some extent throughout the lifespan: home, school, and (for many though not all persons) religious communities.
Each of these is, and ought to be, a supremely formative environment. At home we are welcomed into the world and oriented to our fundamental identity and responsibility, and not just during childhood, since being a parent is every bit as formative in its way as being a child. At school we are inducted into a cultural tradition and given the rudiments of creative participation in that culture. And most human beings find themselves claimed by a religious or spiritual tradition that orients us to something (or Someone) beyond ourselves, holding out a demanding and ennobling vision of who we are meant to be, as well as a path toward that destination.
To put it plainly: for each of these formative contexts, there is absolutely nothing more corrosive and undermining of their very purpose than to introduce instant, effortless, impersonal power.
This is why we have to draw a bright line between the many contexts where magical tech is truly useful, and the contexts where it is actively harmful. Indeed, while I have lots of questions about how beneficial various technologies actually are in the workplace, say, I’d gladly make a deal where the inventors and promoters of technology could colonize every sphere of life—but in return would completely, totally, withdraw from home, school, and church. These should be places where the magic doesn’t happen.
And likewise, this is why we have to treat technology differently in the formative stages of life—why kids on screens are so much worse off than adults on screens, even if they seem to be having the magical time of their lives.
I hope you found these quotes as powerful as I did.
In my experience, many leaders are so overwhelmed by the complexities of new technology that they shy away from enforcing essential boundaries and expectations. This reluctance to lead is a key reason why, for over a decade, most high schools across America have permitted students to use smartphones throughout the school day.
The pace and volatility of technological innovations is only going to increase. It is incumbent upon all of us to rise to the occasion and, likewise, prepare the next generation with the tools to thrive in this world.
Thank you for reading and sharing with any kindred spirits!
If you enjoyed this, check out these related posts:
Carry the fire!
Shane