The Barbarian Virtues Still Matter
Why we still need to focus on creating the type of people who are "invaluable in a shipwreck."
Hello Bar-Setters,
Back in 1930, the head of Stowe School, a prestigious English boys school, claimed that his goal was to produce men who were “acceptable at a dance and invaluable in a shipwreck.”
Richard Reeves recently wrote a great post where he argues that, in the modern world, men need less preparation for the shipwreck and much more for the dance. We have less need, Reeves suggests, for virtues like courage, toughness, and physical fitness, but more need for relational skills, because our social ecosystem has gotten far more complicated.
As he points out:
In the old world where the roles of men and women were more strictly delineated, relational skills were less important. There were no difficult conversations on Sunday evenings over who was doing which school run or sports drop off or doctors appointment. There was no conflict over the question of who would stay home for the day if one of the kids was sick (it was Mum)… Modern marriages, by comparison, require the diplomatic skills of a UN Ambassador
I agree with Reeves primary point. Relational skills are more necessary than ever. But the social rules for a dance are also far less complex.
More to the point, I worry about this tendency to downplay traditional virtues like toughness, courage, industriousness, and physical prowess and I worry about this tendency to de-value the virtues that tend to be most inspiring and exciting to men.
From the Mouth of Babes
My wife loves to ask our children about their experiences at school. At dinner a few weeks ago, something prompted her to ask my daughter if she had any Pre-K classmates who often got in trouble. My daughter responded, “Just all the boys. They never listen. And they’re always playing rough.”
Heartbreaking. My daughter isn't even a full year into the traditional school setting and she has already deduced that boys cause most of the problems. Boys are always frustrating the teachers. This is what happens when a school system expects boys to behave more like girls.
Today, young men are much less likely to do well in school and much more likely to live with their parents well into their 30s. In the absence of a clear ideal to aspire towards, many young men are withdrawing from society. They use porn and video games to satisfy internal drives that, otherwise, would have spurred them to improve themselves. And there is little sense of expectation or shame to deter them from these traps.
We’ve devalued traditional notions of courage and duty all the while wondering why our men won’t grow up, why they’re content to live on screens, and why we can’t reverse the unconscionable mental and physical health trajectory we’ve set them on.
We must stop doing this thing where we pretend that manhood can be reimagined to fit the “needs” of modernity (as determined by those of a very particular viewpoint).
Thanks to technological breakthroughs like drones, AAA, and lab grown meat, men are now free to focus on their feelings and relationships.
Certainly relational skills matter, but the denigration of a strong masculine ideal has helped produce a generation where weak, childish, unimpressive men are far too common.
Still, this is about much more than the quality of our boys. Men, women, and all of society break down when we stop valuing the “invaluable in a shipwreck” side of the equation.
The State of the Union
As of 2022, 77% of young people would not qualify for military service due to being overweight, using drugs, or having other physical or mental disqualifications.
The state of youth mental health is no better. Since 2010, there has been an over 150% increase in major teen depression, an over a 120% increase in suicides among adolescents between 10 and 14, and the average time teens spend with friends has decreased from over 130 minutes per day to less than 50.
No one seems to be doing well, despite our society’s obsessive emphasis on feelings, safety, and “relational skills.”
In the absence of a more well-rounded tapestry of values, society has struggled to think clearly about what matters most.
We form pandemic response protocols that place the safety of the elderly over the mental health and development of younger generations.
We build school curriculums that prioritize standardized test scores over age-appropriate content, recess time, and fostering a love of movement.
We form disciplinary policies that place performative compassion over teaching life lessons and holding students accountable.
And we promote messages about being healthy at any size while the majority of Americans fall deeper into health habits that saddle them with lifelong lethargy and poor health, and which cut years off of their lives.
The headmaster of Stowe School had it right. We need both the civilized virtues and the barbarian virtues.
Unless We Keep the Barbarian Virtues…
We’ve made this mistake before. In 1899, at the height of the Second Industrial Revolution, Theodore Roosevelt wrote the following to Granville Hall, a child development expert of the time:
Oversentimentality, oversoftness, in fact, washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.
Similarly, William James, a pacifist who is known as the father of psychology (and who taught Granville Hall), would go on to write that society must find a “Moral Equivalent of War” or it would continue to witness the deterioration of its people. Perhaps they were on to something.
I’ve made this argument many times, some of which I’d like to share today:
In addition to these posts, I highly recommend this related Rob Henderson article:
Thank you for reading and sharing!
Carry the fire!
Shane
Another great post, thanks!
Thank you, brother! I appreciate that. This is one of my favorite topics.