The Roundup: Every man must mentor. Every community must play matchmaker.
Ideas, Links, & Recommendations
A weekly roundup on manhood, mentorship, and meaning.
This Week’s Feature Post
An excerpt:
Character formation is usually conceived as an intellectual pursuit. You read the right things, listen to the right messages, reflect, mentally rehearse, and expect change to follow. Thoughts are supposed to change your feelings and behaviors. But, we should look to work the process in reverse, as well. The right actions are even more effective at changing our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. A powerful experience will often do more to change a young man’s values than any workbook.
In Case You Missed It
If you haven’t yet downloaded the 10 Rules for Every Young Man which comes with a poster and mentor guide, you can grab it here:
👉 Download the 10 Rules for Every Young Man (PDF)
And get the poster here:
Ideas, Links, & Recommendations
Life lessons from The Old Man and the Sea:
I absolutely loved this podcast. Some books are meant to be read with great mentors. I read The Old Man and the Sea a couple of years ago and came away enjoying the story, but unclear about some of the deeper themes. This podcast filled those gaps. It is full of gems like:
Why every man has a responsibility to mentor.
Why every man needs a worthy opponent/enough competition to become who they should be.
Source: Old School with Shilo Brooks: The Old Man and the Sea with Admiral James Stavridis
Society once worked to help young people become marriage material. More than that, it actively worked to help pair them up.
“Finding the love of your life has never been harder. The horrors of dating apps have been well-documented. But the real problem might be this: Pairing off young people used to be a society-wide project, whereas now it seems that young people are left to their own devices.
For much of the 20th century, society employed a series of rituals and knacks to assist in the process…
It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to get that child’s parents together in the first place. The old ladies, the coaches, the busybody friends: We are the oil that keeps the machinery turning.”
Source: Larissa Phillips, Matchmake Your Single Friends—Today!
Want to be better at work and in your relationships? Rush less. Do less. And make time for the true essentials.
“Many of the moments when you think, ‘I wish I had handled that better,’ or ‘I should have seen that more clearly,’ aren’t really about poor judgment. Often, the root cause is either rushing through the task or skipping basic self-care.
Get an extra hour of sleep. Stop trying to do so many things at once. Go for a walk or get a little exercise. Take a breath and actually think for a minute.
You can do a few things well. You can’t do everything well. If you keep scattering your attention across seven different priorities, you’ll keep making mistakes that your rested and thoughtful mind would never make.”
Source: James Clear
The tendency is to read that and just shake your head in agreement. I recommend stopping for a moment now and committing to how you can apply in one or two small ways. What will you do?
Also worth your time:
What Neuroscience Teaches Us About Reducing Phone Use by Cal Newport
I’ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday by H.W. Brands
I thought I didn’t need God. I was wrong. by Charles Murray
From the Archives:
Thank you for reading Raising Men. If this work resonates, please share.
Because boys don’t just become men worth admiring.
Carry the fire!
Shane