Restoring The Village
Excerpts and links on Cool Mom Syndrome, connection, meaning, and why we need to teach civility.
Hello Bar-setters!
On Wednesday, I made a case for why it is almost impossible to raise kids without a strong village and without cultural clarity. We need norms, expectations, traditions, heroes, milestones, and a sense of meaning that binds us to others. It is hard to be happy without these essential components.
Since then, I’ve heard a couple great podcasts that support that idea:
AOM Podcast #934 with Alexandra Hudson — Beyond Mere Politeness: The Art of True Civility
Philosophize This #189 — Everything that connects us is slowly disappearing — Byung Chul Han pt. 2
This last title reminds me of an excerpt from chapter 5 of Setting the Bar:
It takes a village to raise a child, or so the saying goes. But our villages have undergone a rapid deterioration over the past decades. They show all the markers of growth—the new schools, restaurant chains, and Super Targets—but with a marked loss of connection and identity. Communities are no longer the vehicles where culture spreads and evolves so much as they are the playing field where consumerist forces manifest.
Modern kids often live in completely different cultural contexts than their parents. For example, Mr. Beast is insanely famous among Gen Z and younger. Yet, most Millennials (like me) have never heard of him. This is novel territory.
I’ve been long winded over the past few weeks as I spelled out the foundational beliefs that undergird my Fire Carrier vision.
If you want to catch up on those foundational beliefs, start with these:
Going forward I plan to be a bit more prescriptive. I will still have posts where I point to important ideas but I want to do more practical posts that focus on setting the bar—that point to norms, duties, expectations, milestones, books to read, etc.
Lastly, on Wednesday, I referenced an article written by the fantastic Rob Henderson. In it, he looks at the backwards trend where adults seek the approval of kids, rather than kids aspiring to be like impressive adults. You might call this Cool Mom Syndrome.
A quote from the article:
Abigail Shrier quoted a physician and psychologist who stated that “Fifty years ago, boys wanted to be men. But today, many American men want to be boys.” Until the early 1960s, young people acted older than their actual age. Now, older adults pretend to be younger than their actual age.
It’s a thought-provoking read and a premise that I will build on next week:
Thanks for reading and sharing!
Carry the fire!
Shane